Emotional...

I know I shouldn't say I'm going to keep this blog updated...cause a month passes in what seems like a day. I login and realize its been over a month since my last post! Ugh! Any how...I will share some pictures the cover late July, August, and September :)

This sweet baby boy brought back so many memories of my boys as infants. Infants that aren't mobile and crying or laughing is the only form of communication. He is a very good baby...until he gets hungry and then he has zero tolerance for not having his bottle ready on command. :) He stayed over for the night and he did really well considering it was his first time at our house in a strange bed. But something I did learn that night as I rocked him back to sleep....infancy doesn't last forever...a few years ago those loooong nights felt like they would never end. And now I look back and my boys aren't babies anymore....when did that happen? If feels like it happened over night....

I got a bit emotional...But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and smiled at the present.

Now they sleep though the night (the majority of the time), can communicate without throwing a temper tantrum, can walk, entertain themselves, and for the most part...can wipe their own butts :)

I think of all my friends that are new parents...sleep deprived...struggling to balance work, family, and fiances...struggling to keep that "fire" burning for their spouse...but with all the stress of becoming a new parent...I would do it all over again (of course knowing what I know now)!!

Puddle Update: I think he may be the BEST dog ever! The whole family is in love...I love the fact that he isn't a "barker", poops in the "poopy area", doesn't chew everything up, and he doesn't jump up on you, and he LOVES the boys! I try to be a "cup half full" kind of person but as I watched Au and puddle play in the yard the other day...I got a bit emotional...oh the day when puddle won't be here....how will we handle that? How will Au handle it?

But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and smiled at the present.

Lego Ninja VS Lego Star Wars

We took a stroll on over to "Discover the Dinosaurs"

I know...I should have know better than to let Lo dig for dinosaurs bones with crocs on...it was melt down city when sand got in his crocs! :)

The other day we packed up and headed on over to the hunting land...we (the boys, me and puddle) hung out in the back of the truck while B worked on the tractor.

Here it is...the tractor...this tractor was my Pa's. He used it to cut grass around the pecan trees...I remember driving up the drive way and seeing him on it. He would throw his arm up as I drove by...and he would later scold for driving too fast up the driveway :)

And as this tractor drove through the grass...at this very moment...as I snapped the shutter button...

I got a bit emotional...

It's been 2 years since his death. I've never done a post about it cause every time I become very emotional...until his death, I haven't had to deal with death (on a personal level) in over 13 years.

 I remember my Grandmama calling me and telling me about Pa...I can remember the tone in her voice on that day...the same tone in her voice when she called 20 years prior to tell my mother that my great grandmother had died. I was 7 and I just happened to answer the phone. I knew without having to be told...and so strange but 6 years later...I answered the phone when my granny called to tell my grandaddy to come to Mimaw's house...she had died.  I guess those moments you never forget no matter how much time passes.

I know death is certain but it doesn't make it easier to handle. And in the last 2 years I have had to face more death than I have my whole life...B says I need to prepare myself...how do you do that? When I am forced to think about it (as I have these last few months)...I can't handle it...I know God knows what we can handle but that burden seems to heavy to bear right now...and when I have to face death again (cause it is certain) I will need a lot of grace... 

But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and smiled at the present.

The other night I walked into the "Man Room" and saw this....Au reading to his daddy and little brother...so sweet but then I noticed...

"Gaugie"...Au's favorite blanket...he's had since was was 2 months old. This blanket has been every where with us...I thought he had gotten "too big". I got a bit emotional...that he was growing up too fast...

But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and smiled at the present.